Been Here Before
by Miras-Dragonfly
Summary: Takes place after the first film, will alter future Canon. Is the One really a means to an end? Neo & Trinity take a spiralling journey down to the land of pain. CHAPTER 2 finally posted!
1. Prologue: Omen

Been Here Before 

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DISCLAIMER: Nope, the Matrix-verse isn't an idea of mine. But don't I wish that it was. *exasperated sigh* The quote is from a poem by Christina Rossetti called "Mirage".

Author's Notes: I was compelled to write this after seeing the first film of the Matrix trilogy. It totally rocked my world! ^_^ I root for Neo/Trinity, so if you don't like it.. You know what you can do. Also, reviews are always of the good. Write them and give me a great big happy-go-lucky moment. ^_^

SUMMARY: Takes place after the first film, will alter future Canon. Is the One really a means to an end? Neo & Trinity take a spiralling journey down to the land of pain.

Dedication: To Kirsi and Ana for their respective reasons to party hearty. ^_~ Congrats!

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PROLOGUE: Omen

The hope I dreamed of was a dream,  
Was but a dream; and now I wake,  
Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,  
For a dream's sake.

- Christina Rossetti -

* * *

I sleep restlessly here, in the real world. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of the hard mattresses or the constant drone of the Nebuchadnezzar's engines, but falling asleep is gradually becoming a more and more arduos task. I toss and turn, lying awake in my cabin, staring into the impenetrable darkness surrounding me. And I wait, thinking about whatever happens to turn up inside my mind, just to waste away the early morning hours.

On occasion I hear the metallic echo of footsteps outside, as people walk past my door, and memories of my childhood come flooding back to me.

How I used to insist on keeping the lights turned off and my door closed, even though I was scared of the dark. I always felt the need to prove something to myself; that I was in control, unafraid and that I didn't need anyone to console me.

How lonely I felt back then, as a child. Always so lonely.

In my adolescent years, I used to like sleeping. It proved to be another method of escape alongside computers, that I could enjoy. I would curse the reality I could never fathom, and sleep for hours on end, lost in a world of chaos more familiar to me than my own family. Sometimes, I wished I could just fall asleep one day and never wake up.

Those dreams always felt more real to me than the memories I had of my life in the Matrix.

As I drift in and out of my slumber, I realize not much has changed after all. I'm still chasing my answers from a dreamworld. The only thing that's really changed, is that I'm not alone in my search anymore. I have Neo now..

I remember, as a child I had a lot of nightmares. Most of them had some faceless monster chasing me, as I ran for my life.

Nowadays, in my dreams, I see Neo instead. Moving through seemingly endless layers of ash grey clouds, his eyes closed, and a mask of serenity on his face. I smile as the whirling wind tousles his dark hair I've ran my fingers through a thousand times. He looks like he's sleeping; I can even follow the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

Then the clouds disperse around him, revealing the spinning world below, drawing nearer by the second.

It is then, that I realize he's falling. Only then, when he's nothing more than a dark blur in my vision, a black dot in my view. In between towering buildings and skyscrapers with their mirrorlike windows, he falls with lightning speed, without anyone noticing. The impossibly tall buildings seem to bend down as he passes; grim witnesses to a human tragedy. The sunlight burns my eyes, but I refuse to blink in my disbelief.

This can't be happening.

Soon his motionless body meets the asphalt. And I watch him coming apart like a block of solid ice, unable to do anything. The realization that he's too far gone to be helped, strikes me like a hot poker through the heart.

That is when I force myself awake, in denial of the events that just took place in my dream. I sit up, my heart racing and pearls of sweat tumbling down my temples. I know my eyes are wildly searching the room for some reassurance that what I just saw, never happened. I wish he were here, in this room so that I could touch him and know that he's really there. Alive. But at the same time as I acknowledge this, I'm glad no one sees me in this state, in my moment of weakness. Least of all Neo..

When I return to my sences, I tell myself it was all just a bad dream; my deepest fears breathed into life. And yet, I notice, the more times I have that dream, the less I feel afraid.

Just like when I was a child, with all my nightmares - it seemed almost as if something in me knew that running and hiding would prove to be skills that I'd need. Skills that I couldn't afford to not master.

Now, I can feel it's happening again. I'm being prepared.

* * *

So, here's the oh-so-short prologue! There'll be more to come, with or without reviews but.. People's opinions are still very valuable to me. So do the feedback thing! I'm not even sure if any of this is making any sence to you.. ^_^ Well, better quit this nervous rant and let you get on with your lives. Thanks for bothering to read!


	2. Chapter 1: Nightmares

Been Here Before 

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DISCLAIMER: Nope, the Matrix-verse isn't an idea of mine. But don't I wish that it was. *exasperated sigh* The quote is from a poem by John Cornford called "Huesca".

Author's Notes: Nice to hear you've liked the little I've written so far. ^_^ That makes me positively giddy. Anyway, I meant to do that confusing thing where you're not sure who's the protagonist in my prologue. I'm into weird prologues, you see. Experimenting with my writing, and all that. I think the fact you made mix ups only proves how much alike Neo and Trinity really are, kinda? And yes, I have seen Reloaded, twice even. This story doesn't replace it, more like.. Takes the stuff that happens after the first film in a different direction. Not that I didn't like the direction things took in Reloaded, or anything. I just had this idea I wanted to put into use. Well, here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy!

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CHAPTER 1: Nightmares

Heart of the heartless world,  
Dear heart, the thought of you  
Is the pain at my side,  
The shadow that chills my view.

The wind rises in the evening,  
Reminds that autumn is near.  
I am afraid to lose you,  
I am afraid of my fear.

- John Cornford -

* * *

"Neo..?" The name rolled off Trinity's tongue as she opened the heavy metallic door to one of the small cabins on board the Neb. Her eyes immediatly fell on the figure that lay sprawled over the narrow bed in the room, his arm supporting the flat pillow under his head. The one person she'd been looking for, her comrade in arms, the One, her lover and best friend all rolled into one. "Are you awake?" Trinity called out to Neo, more quietly this time. She really didn't want to deprive him of sound sleep, for it was a rare privilege in times of war. And Neo, if anyone, deserved his rest.

Trying to find his place in the crew, Neo had gradually began to take up more and more responsibility over the everyday routines on board the Neb, taking up his fair share of the guard shifts and maintennance of the ship. Add that up with his frequent visits to the Matrix, it all spelled out exhaustion. How he could pull it off without a word of complaint, never seized to amaze Trinity. It almost seemed as if he'd been born to the life of a soldier, easily adapting to situations that would've raised the hairs of lesser men.

Standing in the doorway, Trinity spent a moment just marveling at Neo's sleeping form. His dark hair that had already grown to the length she remembered from the first time she'd met him in the Matrix, presented a strong contrast against his ivory white, pale skin. He was handsome, in a boyish way, complete with the most dazzling pair of mahogany brown eyes she'd ever seen. His eyes though, were closed now; Trinity could see how his eyelids fluttered in restless slumber.

"Still dreaming.." She observed, and a shadow of a smile passed over her usually inexpressive face.

Languidly Trinity stepped over the treshold, and entered the room, leaving the door open behind her. She crouched down aside Neo, and took in the restful expression on his face as he slept, oblivious to Trinity's scrutinizing stare. He looked young, she thought, young and innocent. Sometimes Trinity wondered, if he'd been able to hold onto that innocence had he been unplugged as early in his life as she had been. But then again, Neo probably could've. He had a natural, bright optimism about him. Whereas she'd been hardened by life, he'd remained young at heart. Some would think it to be a weakness in a fighter, but Trinity didn't. She knew better, having seen him in combat. She envied Neo, not for who he was, but for how he was. So compassionate and naive and..

lovable.

Trinity shook off that last word with a smirk. She couldn't believe herself, sneaking into un-suspecting men's room's at night, just to gape at them. But then again this was Neo she was talking about. He probably wouldn't mind her dropping in, and she'd grown so accustomed to keeping vigil over him that it was getting hard to break the habit. She was constantly monitoring his welfare, consiously or not, and there was little she could do to stop herself. She liked watching him, especially when he was unaware of it; liked listening to the steady flow of air as he breathed.

While still plugged into the Matrix, Neo had always appeared so vulnerable to Trinity. Like the butterfly, she thought; one careless pinch had seemed all it would take to rid him of his wings. Morpheus though, had seen past that first appearance, and believed him to be the One from the start. Convinving Trinity though, had been far a more time-consuming task, as she had remained doubtful throughout the first stages of freeing the mind of this new potential. The sheer conflict between Neo's nature and his fate, had and still did, perplex her. At first she'd been too blinded by his frailty to see him for his strength. To think such a feeble, skinny creature with such kind eyes would be the One, destined to fight for the whole of humanity? Even know, when she knew him to be practically invincible in the Matrix, she couldn't stop herself from worrying about him every time he went in.

Neo made her smile, and a thing like that was simply too precious to lose in the gloom of their everyday lives.

"Sweet dreams." Trinity whispered, and reached out her fingers to trace the side of Neo's face. Unable to resist the urge, she breathed in his scent, and planted a delicate kiss on the crown of his head. He smelled a spicy mix of engine lubricants and the smoky air outside, and in it's essence, something unmistakably him. When she had been freed, one of the the first things Trinity had noticed was that smells and sounds seemed clearer somehow, sharper than she'd remembered from the Matrix. Or maybe here, in the real world, she simply payed more attention to things she'd taken for granted in the earlier years of her life.

Pulling back to leave, Trinity grabbed a washed-out blue blanket, and layed it over Neo, as she'd noticed his skin had felt cool. The blanket was sure to do little to keep him warm, but it was all she had to offer for the time being. She was already late, so spooning would have to wait. Trinity turned on her feet, eager to leave the room, but cast a final glance in Neo's direction as she heard him stir on the bed. "..T-trinity?" He mumbled in his sleep, finally sencing a presence in the room.

The sight of his drowzy appearance caused Trinity's lips to curl up to a slight smile. He looked cute, with his sleepy eyes and tousled hair. "You need to rest." She responded in a nonchalant voice. Sometimes she regretted the way she spoke to him, never betraying emotion. But it was the only way she knew how to talk, which Neo probably knew and understood. Trinity held her awkward pose for a few more seconds, struggling to blurt out the words it had taken her ages to confess.

I love you. You hear me? I love you.

Instead, she forced her eyes to shift from Neo to the open door, and took a cautious step towards it. Her inability to speak those words to him while he was, well, concious, left her embarrassed and she wanted out before Neo would pick it up. Besides, what she had intended to be a quick glance had already extended into a full quarter of an hour. If she didn't show up to the main deck on this very minute, Tank would have her head. Regardless of the woman in love excuse.

"Where are you going?" Neo asked, his voice somewhat hoarse from sleep. He was still lingering in the haze between sleep and awakening, but there was no mistaking the silent plea in his gaze. An utterly focused and demanding 'Why'.

"I have the graveyard shift." Trinity replied nervously, referring to the earliest guard shift of the day, which began at midnight and ended at dawn. "Just thought I'd check in on you on my way over."

"Oh. Do you.. want some company?" Neo offered. "I don't feel like sleeping."

Trinity glanced at him over her shoulder, at his rumpled clothing and the blanket he was still clutching around his shoulders. "Alright." She smiled, a mischievous sparkle in her liquid blue eyes.

* * * * * * *

"You're late." Tank stated flatly, leaning against the doorframe to the Neb's cockpit. "If I'm not mistaken, you were supposed to relieve me half an hour ago." There was a hint of irritation in his voice, along with the obvious weariness.

"Things turned up." Trinity explained coolly.

"I'll bet." Tank snorted in annoyance, and glanced behind Trinity at the One who was currently studying the exposed machinery around the catwalk there, seeming a bit too interested of it all. Tank could tell the man was trying his damnest not to eavesdrop on their conversation. "I'll bet your 'thing' was big smoochies with boy wonder over there."

"I didn't think I owed you a detailed report." Trinity answered rigidly.

"Sorry Trin. Bad day at the office." Tank apologized with a sigh, and rubbed his tired eyes. "So anyway, you sure you're up to this? Can't remember the last time you volunteered for this shift. I thought you warrior types wanted your beaty sleep."

"I felt like taking a shift." Trinity explained, a quiver of emotion in her eyes.

"Oh yeah?" Tank raised a brow. Usually, the ones who handled the late night and early morning shifts were classic insomniacs. Cypher had been one.. Tank's jaw clenched unwittingly as he thought of the man who was responsible for the deaths of four people from their ship, including Tank's big brother Dozer. So much had been lost because of Cypher's deceit, and all it had amounted to was pain. His name was never mentioned anymore, it was as though he'd seized to exist in the minds of the few that had survived. Such was the way of the real world, one must always keep one's eyes on the path that lies ahead. Cypher couldn't hack it here, couldn't cope with the reality. Forgot to always walk on and never look back.

"Tank.." Trinity sighed, to emphasize her dislike of the direction their conversation was taking.

"You've been having trouble sleeping, haven't you?" Tank guessed, and noticed another ripple in the icy blue of Trinity's eyes. Only for a brief second, they darted over to Neo, as though to check whether or not he was within hearing range. Tank could've sworn he heard a sigh of relief pass Trinity's lips as she saw him standing quite a distance away with his back turned to her.

"So have you." Trinity pointed out with a characteristic firmness to her voice.

Tank just gave her a look. "We all have to cut back on the sleeping scene, these days." He said, "And you know that's not what I meant."

"It's nothing." Trinity's eyes bore into Tank, as though to further convince him that everything was in order. "I can handle it."

"Nah, I dunno about that." Tank muttered under his breath, turning his eyes away from Trinity's icy glare. Something was definately bothering her, and she definately didn't want to talk about it. Never one for support groups, their Trinity. "Neo gonna keep you company?"

"Yes." Trinity's eyes seemed to melt at the mention of the notorious One, but they soon returned to their usual, impassive glow.

"I can see a whole a lot of surveillance going on in that scenario." Tank snorted, and crossed his arms over his chest. Something was up with Trinity, and the fact she refused to talk about it made all the little alarm bells go off in Tank's head. Ever since the 'incident' before, he had sworn he'd keep a closer eye on everyone with unresolved issues. Trinity, at the moment, scored high marks in that area. And whatever it was, Tank was sure, it had to do with Neo. Neo the One, Neo the destined to save the world One. Add it up, it all said: watch out here comes big ugly danger.

"If you've got something to say about it, I suggest you take it to Morpheus." Trinity spoke, her voice lacking it's usual demanding boom.

"Now do you really want me to do that?" Tank raised his brow, and chuckled. He couldn't help conjuring up the image of Morpheus, the father figure, lecturing to Neo and Trinity about the facts of life. It was ridiculous, but it helped him to shake off the feeling of impending doom he could still feel reverberating from Trinity. "Nah, I'm happy for you. You guys deserve a little alone time."

"This isn't.. I have guard duty until 0600 hours."

"Yeah, whatever you say." Tank grinned, "Just remember, my chair is off limits for necking!" He warned in a joking tone.

Trinity was too used to living with men to react to his merciless teasing, and merely watched as Tank dragged his feet along the catwalk towards the crew members' cabins. Neo though, seemed awfully interested of the nearest wall as Tank made his way past a goofy grin plastered on his face.

That big jerk, Trinity smiled to herself. She had missed Tank; the person he had once been, before the day it all went wrong. The pure horror of that afternoon still made her blood run cold, and she knew she wasn't the only one. Even though Trinity hadn't suffered a loss like Tank had, she still felt a connection to him through their mutual experience. It was amazing, how people could overcome losses, even if they did change as a result of it. Sometimes Trinity thought, what would've become of her, should Cypher have had the chance to pull that next plug.

Sometimes, in her dreams, she saw Neo falling endlessly towards the floor of that TV-repair shop, his mouth shaped around her name like a prayer for salvation. And in the background, sounded the mocking tune of a ringing phone. For her, because survival in the end.. wasn't it the ultimate punishment?

"Oh yeah," Tank turned on his heels, almost at an entrance to a hallway. "Morpheus wants to see you.. ASAP, he said." Trinity merely nodded back in affirmative, before watching their operator disappear behind the corner there.

"What's that all about?" Neo asked her, a curious look in his eyes.

"Maybe nothing." Trinity answered him, ever mysterious, and turned for the cockpit. She'd need to stay on the lookout for Sentinels, even though they were unlikely to turn up to such a remote location.

"Oh yeah? I have a feeling something's going on." Neo cleared his throat as he sat down aside Trinity on the next free chair.

"You're just paranoid, Neo." Trinity whispered, doing a quick scan of the area with the help of a computer-operated radar. It showed nothing, whatever that meant. Ever since the war, people had become wary about trusting machines, and Trinity made no acception to the rule. Her eyes immediatly fell on the view which spread through the windshield of the ship. Sentinels were hardly into skulking around; they would make their presence known should they be close, but Trinity felt the need to occupy her mind with this mundane task.

"Comes with the territory, I guess." Neo responded in a quiet voice, and he too began searching the barren scenery for any movement. He looked focused, wearing that very expression Trinity often saw him use in the battle-field. Eighty procent concentration, twenty procent excitement. A part of him would always love this, she supposed. Before, during his life in the Matrix, Neo had no doubt seeked a meaning for it all just like she had. A purpose. And what he had discovered, about himself especially, must have been intoxicating.

To come from being nobody, to suddenly being the sole hope of the resistance? Quite the mindjob, Trinity thought. It was amazing though, Neo never became arrogant or proud. If anything, he appeared modest and cautious in battle, not wanting to take any unnecesessary risks. Never wanting to compromise the lives of others to enjoy what he was born to do.

"Neo.." Trinity began, drawing his attention back to herself.

"What?" He asked.

That damned innocent expression. Trinity gritted her teeth. "I.. These last few weeks.."

"Yeah?" Neo spoke again, waiting anxiously for an answer.

Trinity stared into the depths of his eyes, mesmerized by the reflections in them, by the way they weren't afraid of direct contact with hers. The two soldiers looked at each other, never blinking or re-averting their gaze. Unlike her own eyes, which Trinity knew portrayed a frightening lack of emotion, Neo's eyes always seemed so soft and understanding. Some would see it as ignorance, denial of fact, but there was a difference - a layer all of them missed. Just by looking at him, she felt she could tap into a flow of sincere feeling and energy inside him, and there was nothing simple or ignorant about that.

"I've been having dreams." She finally told him, allowing her weariness and sadness to creep into her voice. For what reason, she wasn't sure. Burdening Neo, becoming an obstacle in his way, was the last thing Trinity wanted. But on this moment, in the safe haven of this private space, she wanted to tell him. Wanted him to console her, for he was the only one that could.

"What kind of dreams?" Again, that innocent, childlike tone. Almost as if he already knew, but was testing whether or not she would tell him the truth.

"Nightmares." Trinity whispered, her voice so low it was barely audible. But Neo's ears caught her words without effort.

"What about?" Neo asked, swallowing as he leant closer for privacy. "Me?"

Trinity nodded as an answer, her eyes remaining in contact with his. "They always end the same way." She spoke, and reached out her fingers to interlace with his. She drew in her breath, already hesitating about telling him all there was to this secret. "You seem unaware at first.. Sleeping or turned the other way.."

"And?" Neo asked. There was pain in his eyes, she swore; it was like he already knew.

"Neo.." Trinity heaved a sigh, and lowered her eyes to the floor. How do you tell the man you love, you dream about watching him die the most horrible, brutal ways imaginable? Dreams, that feel so real a part of you never expects you to be able to wake up? "It's nothing. Really, they're just dreams."

"Yeah, but that's not what you think, is it?" Neo lifted her chin, looking at her from so close their noses scraped against each other.

She looked back at him, her eyes wide like those of an animal in front of an oncoming car. "Later, we'll talk.. Later." She whispered, letting her eyes droop slowly shut. Though not from fatique. "There's time."

"Are you sure?" She heard a velvety voice speak in her ear, and felt his hot breath at the side of her throat.

"Yes."

Even with her eyes closed, she could feel him nearing her, as the heat radiating from his skin became a fever on her skin. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to whimper at the feel of their lips brushing against each other. It was a brief, feather light touch, charged with an electricity that left her lips tingling for more. A breath passed between them, two mingling currents of hot, moist air, until their lips met again, cautiously at first.

Trinity lifted her fingers, oblivious, and wrapped them around the back of Neo's head. Through her fingers, that clutched him to her, she could feel his warmth, and the muscles and bone just beneath the skin. "Uh.." He moaned, his other hand running through her hair and the other, down her back. They stood there, Neo with his back against a wall, Trinity yielding into his body, eyes closed as they enjoyed the rush the mere human contact provided. Neither noticed where they were or how they'd gotten there, nor did they care to know. All that mattered was the kiss.

Their lips sought each other with an increasing fervour, passion that blinded them to the world. The war, the Matrix, for that moment they were all but a wildly spinning background to a feeling. A feeling so over-powering, so drowning, neither of them could stop thirsting for more.

* * * * * * *

"Ah Trinity." Morpheus nodded, a pleased look on his face. "Glad you could make it." He said, his lips curling up to reveal a row of white teeth. "Late, as you may be.."

"Tank told me you were looking for me. Any particular reason why?" Trinity assumed a comfortable pose in the middle of the Captains Quarters. It was a big room, but Morpheus' persona filled it so perfectly, she'd always felt awkward to enter. Everywhere she looked, she saw little touches of him, the bookcases lined up against the walls, the antiques on the spaceous computer desk. Morpheus stood by the door, at an angle to her, and it made her feel cornered, on the defence somehow.

"I'm afraid it's.. work related. I received a curious request yesterday afternoon, and it has taken me until now to decode it. I would like to hear your opinion of it, as the second in command officer on this ship." Morpheus wandered across the room to his computer, and sat down on the crooked looking metallic chair in front of it.

"What does it say?" Trinity asked, realizing he wasn't about to open a text-file for her to read as she'd expected, but instead just sat there with an apologetic look on his face.

"We'll get to that." Morpheus turned his back on her, twirling round to face the code of the Matrix running down the monitor of his computer. "Now, the more relevant question for you to ask is where the message came from."

"Then who sent it?" Trinity asked, clenching her fists till her knuckles were coloured bone white. Why all the secrecy? Why the private counsil? Questions spun round and round in her mind, adding fuel to her anxiety.

"It's a short message, just a passage or two.. signed with the sender tags of the Ananke." Morpheus glanced at Trinity, his eyes sober and his expression stern.

"But.. That's impossible." Trinity uttered.

"My thoughts precisely. But the tags are correct. According to my sources, the message was sent from aboard that ship." Morpheus nodded, concearn marring his forehead.

"But the Ananke was destroyed three month's ago." Trinity brushed her hair back in disbelief. "They said there was nothing left of it, no survivors."

"And a message in our time, hardly takes three months to pass onto it's destination." Morpheus added with a frown.

"The machines?" Trinity fell back on the only logic explanation. The machines might have somehow gotten hold of the equipment on board before destroying the ship, they might've somehow been able to send a message with that equipment.. But it was all a one big maybe. Why would the machines go through the trouble in the first place, to set up an obvious trap?

"I thought of it too.. But the information, some details, some.." Morpheus' eyes strayed from Trinity to the floor. "References.. It just doesn't add up."

"What does it say?" Trinity stepped closer, her eyes meeting Morpheus' with a defiance he had never seen before. "Morpheus, you have to tell me what's in that message."

* * *

Yep. It's a cliffhanger boys and girls! My favourite way to end a chapter. ^_^ I'm rather pleased with this one, but I'd love to hear what you thought of it. I probably shoulda worked on the dialogue some more, but that can't be helped. Might'a only gotten worse.. Who knows. BTW, I'm aware Tank is a total mess of OOC:ness. Just decided this story needs some comic relief, ergo the talk. Try to bear with my somewhat bizarre sence of humour. Witty banter makes me giggle.


	3. Chapter 2: The Silent Hour

Been Here Before 

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I'm sure that by now, you've come to realize the obviousness of the truth. ^_^

Author's Notes: Thanks again for the attention! It really pleases me, even though I sometimes feel I don't deserve all the compliments. But then again, who's complaining. ^_^ Whereas the last chapter was really more about getting the story going, this one will concentrate on building up tension. As you may already have guessed, things are about to get complicated.. *sniggers evilly*

* * *

CHAPTER 2: The Silent Hour

A thousand years, you said,  
as our hearts melted.  
I look at the hand you held,  
and the ache is hard to bear.

- Lady Heguri -

* * *

Strips of code ran endlessly down a computer screen, revealing themselves momentarily to a pair of watchful brown eyes, before fading back into the black abyss they'd emerged from. In a vain attempt to overcome his mind-numbing boredom, Neo had begun to stare at the monitor intensely. He found the Matrix infinately interesting, even in coded form. He kept hoping he might catch sight of something extraordinary, something that would answer the one fundamental question that had been circling around in his mind ever since he'd discovered he was indeed, the One. Why, he asked himself, am I here? What's my purpose, if it's not to serve as a mindless cogwheel in some big scheme of things? No matter how relentlessly Neo waited, the only answer the Matrix offered him was the inscrutable humming of a cooling system.

Much help that was.

The flickering, green lights on the computer screens reflected a weak glow upon Neo's pale skin, as he sat quietly in the heart of his newly-found home. It had been a slow night, and Neo had had plenty of time to himself. Trinity's meeting with Morpheus, which she'd said would last just a second, had extended from minutes to hours. And Neo, who'd only joined her here for some quality time with his girlfriend, had suddenly found himself taking over for her shift. Not that he really minded, after all, it wasn't his first time on guard duty. But the whole situation did make him a bit jumpy, though.

There had been no word from Trinity, nothing. It wasn't like her to just abandon her guard post indefinately for a social call. One serious conversation had to be going on down there, for her to get this delayed. Trinity had already stayed away for.. Neo's eyes darted over to the far end of the windshield, to a digital watch screwed in place to the wall there. It's glowing red numbers had just shifted to 4:19 a.m. Three and a half hours, he counted in his head. Jesus.

For days now, Neo had senced a change in the atmosphere on board the Nubuchadnezzar, for no apparent reason. Perhaps it was the way Trinity had been behaving, double-checking on him every chance she got. She had developed a distinct need of closure on him, and it troubled Neo. She hadn't explained her actions, except by telling him she'd been having nightmares, about him. Even though she hadn't gone into the details, Neo could just about guess what they'd been about.

After all, he dreamt such dreams as well. He imagined that it went along with love; when you have something amazing and pure, the thing you most fear is losing it. But in spite of this, he had a feeling there was more to Trinity's behaviour than your average 'disturbing dream' anxiety. She wasn't the kind to get upset easily, always being a soldier before a woman, so Neo had good reason to believe that whatever it was, it was big. But try as he might, he could never quite put his finger on what that something was.

Sometimes he could see it in her eyes, when she looked at him. A sadness so deep and profound, it threw him. And at the same time, it made him love her all the more. He would just look back at her, feeling her pain almost as acutely as she did, and poar out his worship of her through his eyes, in hope that it would make a difference. After all, it was all he could really do. Trinity was a very private person, she liked to keep her pains and worries to herself. Not out of timidity, but from pride and out right pig-headedness. If he would press her on the subject, he would just end up driving her away, and that was the last thing Neo wanted.

Trinity was more experienced than him, knowing her way around the real world far better than he did. Neo still had a lot to learn, but she never seemed to deem him incompetent for all of his questions. He respected and admired her, for being a survivor, a soldier, without letting it slowly kill the person inside her. There was a duality to her character, which came from the nature of her work: he too, had learned it necessary to separate oneself from the person one became inside the Matrix. Trinity had told him once, he should always think of entering his former world as a dream, a videogame - that he should subconsiously accept what he did inside, wasn't real. Even though real people would get killed in the process.

It was a good piece of advice, Neo thought, much more practical than Morpheus' request to free his mind. Once the attempt to free his mind had become consious, there was no way to avoid the disasterous failure at doing just that. The things you are forced to think about, forced to consider, are such you doubt - never the kind you're willing to accept in a heartbeat. The plummeting fall during his first jumping experience had proved Neo that.

Neo sighed and rubbed his eyes, as they'd begun to ache from the bright screens. He decided to run another check for sentinels in proximity to their position, but the results came back negative, showing that the area was clean miles around. Suddenly his ears caught the sound of approaching footsteps, and Neo perched up on his seat for a better view. He assumed it was Trinity, coming back to relieve him and to take over for the rest of the shift. Who he saw walking in though, wasn't Trinity but instead their very drowzy looking operator.

"Tank? I thought you'd be sleeping." Neo voiced his thoughts, unable to conceal the disappointment in his voice.

"I was," Tank complied, "until Captain dearest ordered my sorry ass back here."

Tank walked in through the doorway with a stoop, yawning loudly as his body protested against the interruption in his sleep. Neo could tell he'd been in a hurry to get dressed, since the beige, ragged-looking sweater he was wearing was put on inside out. Tank didn't seem to notice, or care of the fact, dress-code being less formal here than in Neo's fictionary life as Thomas A. Anderson. God, Neo groaned as he thought back to that period; had he hated the ties back then.

"Morpheus?" Neo asked, and after a brief silence he continued; "Was Trinity with him?"

"Boy, you sure have a one tracked mind." Tank shook his head amused, and jumped on his seat. "But no, I didn't see her."

"Oh. I wonder where she is then."

"Probably sleeping, like you should be too." Tank flicked some switches and began typing on his keyboard. "The way I heard it, you're both going in later today." He added, opening up a file on his computer which looked like the map of a city somewhere. With remarkable speed, the program zoomed in on one twenty storie building at the outskirts of the map.

"Morpheus said that?" Neo double-checked, as his eyes strayed away from the computer screen and back to Tank.

"Yeah. Seemed really weird about it too." Tank answered, without pulling away his eyes from the task at hand. "Apparently some guy who calls himself the Worm contacted him through un-official channels, and requested a meeting. He'd said an exchange would take place."

"An exchange of what?" Neo wondered outloud.

"I dunno man. And this Worm guy, I've never even heard of him." Tank admitted incredulously. "I can't believe Morpheus is buying into his bullshit."

"You told that to Morpheus?" Neo raised his brow. He'd thought their Captain had an authority that was rarely questioned, even by Trinity.

"Yeah, but did he listen? Noo.." Tank grunted, and shook his head in disappointment. "I haven't seen him as obstinant since--" He fell silent, and glanzed at Neo briefly before returning to his work.

"Since what?" Neo asked, waiting for Tank to complete his sentence.

"Since we found you." Tank stared at him, a thoughtful look in his eyes.

Soon both men averted their of gaze to the gloomy view which spread through the windshield in front of them. The Neb had been set down to the corner of a huge cavern, it's walls filled with cables and wires and entrances to round-shaped, spacious tunnels which lead deeper into the sewers. On the barren floor, in between the dust and the ashes, lay boulders of scrap metal, which might've been ships or quite possibly sentinels a decade or two ago.

A current of smoky, polluted air blew the ashen grey dust that lay everywhere in the sewers. Sometimes Neo wondered what the stuff was, but a part of him wasn't sure if he wanted to find out. There was probably a morbid story behind it - like that it was the ashes of cremated soldiers who'd died fighting the machines. After all, the war had been going on for a hundred years, yet there existed no cemetaries, due to lack of space. Or then it could be the burnt remains of the lush vegetation that had once grown up on the surface of the earth. Either way, the sight made him sad.

The train of Neo's thoughts came to a sudden halt though, as Tank spoke up again. "Look man, I'll take it from here, you can go. Have an early breakfast for all I care. But I suggest you rest, and prepare.. You've got a long day ahead of you." He patted Neo on the back, and then returned to running yet another perimeter check on his computer.

"Yeah," Neo sighed as he stood up and made his way towards the doorway, "One hell of a day."

* * * * * * *

Trinity sat in the mess hall, her eyes directed at the colourless goo ahead of her on the dinner table. She really wasn't that hungry, but felt obligated to swallow her mild flavoured breakfast. It was nutritious, if not tasty, and it would keep her body going for the day. And Trinity felt, for tonight, she'd need all the energy she could muster. Having lifted up her first spoon full of the mouldy gruel, she suddenly heard the hinges of the door behind her creak as someone walked in.

Trinity craned her neck to catch a glimpse of the intruder, and saw Neo, standing frozen in the doorway. "Trinity." He called out to her, surprise evident in his voice.

"You should go back to bed." Trinity ordered tiredly, and brushed away a few locks of nearly black hair that had fallen down on her eyes. "There are still a few hours till morning."

"I know," Neo begun awkwardly. "I just.. I needed to see you. You weren't in your cabin.." He said, and made a relaxed gesture towards the corridor behind him.

"No," Trinity admitted, a smile softening the look on her face. "I wanted some time to think."

The blinking halogen lights on the ceiling high-lighted Trinity's hair with shades of electric blue, further accentuating the huey, liquid colour of her eyes. The two pools of mountain fresh water stared back at Neo blankly, as he continued to take in her beaty. Trinity had an unearthly feel to her, an aura of tranquility and calm only matched by her fiery temper and nerves of steel. She seemed untouchable, never within easy reach.

Her lips parted, as though to say something, and an obscure question roamed Trinity's gaze. Immediatly she straightened her neck, turning her face away from Neo. But he'd already seen her lost expression. "Something's bothering you." Neo circled around the table she was seated at, and sat down to face her. He was aware that Trinity often came here to be alone, she'd told him that once herself, and of late he'd found himself doing the same thing. The mess hall, which consisted of the dining area and the small kitchen, wasn't a very homely environment with it's meal dispensing machines and cold, sterile surfaces, but at least it was quiet. The noise of the engines and air-conditioning systems never quite reached these walls.

Trinity blinked, lowering her gaze from Neo to the metal grey table in front of her. This wouldn't be easy, she thought, and kept twirling a spoon in her food. "I guess Tank already told you we're going in today?" Her question came out more as a statement of fact.

"Yeah. He might've mentioned that." Neo nodded, folding his arms on the table. So that's what she'd been talking about with Morpheus, he realized, simultaneously worrying about the tone Trinity was using. Should he take it as a sign this wasn't the run of the mill assignment he'd begun to think that it was? If there was one thing Neo had learned, it was that when both Morpheus and Trinity were acting strange, nothing good could come out of it. Last time he'd felt this much tension charged up in the air, was when he had gone in for the first time to meet the Oracle.

And just look how well that one turned out.

Trinity lifted up her gaze again, and stared at Neo for a moment. "I don't think you should go. Your presence is not required." She spoke calmly, her voice less official than the expression on her face.

Is that an order, Neo wondered. "You don't want me there?" He inquired, an undertone of hurt in his voice. "No," came out Trinity's blunt reply.

"Why?" Neo demanded.

Just tell him, said a voice in Trinity's head, just tell him you fear this is the last time you'll see him alive. And despite all of this, the anxiety that twisted her stomach.. A deep, profound silence was all the answer Neo got.

"Trinity," Neo's voice became concearned, as he grabbed hold of Trinity's fingers. "I wish you would tell me. Whatever it is."

"I just keep thinking.." She begun. "About what the Oracle told me.. How things turned out in the past."

"And?"

"I don't know what affect my actions could have. I don't know, if I might be causing something bad to happen by telling you more than you're meant to know." Trinity answered, an apologetic look on her face.

"Meant to know?" Neo snorted. "How do you know you're not meant to tell me?"

"I can't know." Trinity agreed. "But until I do.. Until I understand what it means.."

"You'll continue to keep me in the dark." Neo finished her sentence, slight traces of frustration on his boyish face. He felt helpless, unable to do anything for the one person he most wanted to help. Feeling awkward in relationships wasn't exactly news to Neo, he'd always felt more at ease dealing with computers than with other people, but this particular kind of awkwardness was something he hadn't experienced before. In his life in the Matrix, Neo had felt himself disconnect with every girl he ever dated - they simply drifted away. Now the problem was quite the opposite. The intensity of emotion he felt everytime he saw Trinity, had been something he'd been completely unprepared for. It was like a million different things, suddenly thrown at him from all directions, while he was left in the middle feeling deeply and utterly lost. Love, that darned thing, never came with an instruction manual.

"I hope you're right about this, Trinity.." Neo's voice was suddenly stripped bare of it's sharp edges. "..'Cos I can't lose you." He finished, with a sincerity that reached his eyes.

"I know." Trinity nodded, and squeezed Neo's fingers gently with her own. "I can't lose you either. I won't." She promised, her eyes glowing with conviction.

* * * * * * *

After breakfast Trinity and Neo headed over to the main deck, climbing a set of ladders before proceeding to the short corridor that curved around the end towards the spacious room there. Their feet walked forward with a casual, slow pace, emitting clanking sounds as the heels of their boots met the metallic surface of the grating beneath them.

"They're already waiting for us." Trinity was the first to speak up. The words themselves meant nothing, they were a mere platitude to break the silence that had hung between her and Neo for over an hour now. The soundlessness had begun to crawl around in Trinity's skin, making her hyper-aware of her surroundings. In that state of anticipation, every glance and breath seemed magnified a thousand times over in volume. She simply couldn't take it any longer, and had urged herself to blurt out those words, whatever words, to rid herself of the feeling.

"Oh." Neo said, uninterested. He probably couldn't think of anything else to say. Understandable. Still, Trinity couldn't shrug off the feeling that she had somehow hurt his feelings, offended him in some way. That feeling too, bothered her and she wanted it gone.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" She asked, her eyes implying a hidden meaning behind her words.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Neo answered, stopping in midstride. He faced Trinity in the hallway, his eyes doing a quick sweep over hers as he considered the next thing to say. "This never get's any easier, does it?" He grinned nervously as he spoke.

"I guess not." Trinity answered, unsure what Neo had in fact asked. But then again, did it really matter? Everything about her life was difficult these days. Now, there was only the good difficult and the bad difficult to choose from. No more easy. That, she'd given up along with the blue pill she never chose.

Without a second thought, Trinity stepped closer to Neo, pressing her lithe frame against his. He was taken aback by her impulsive behaviour, and lowered his eyes at her with a question mark written all over his face. If she wanted to keep him at a distance, this was a strange way of showing it.

"A kiss.." She whispered, closing her eyes. "For good luck."

Neo didn't reply, instead lowered his face onto hers. He loved this moment right before their lips met. It was like standing at a cliff, overlooking an endless pitch dark crevice - and then taking the consious plunge into oblivion. He held his eyes closed at the first touch, which was a rough, starved encounter. Neo soon claimed Trinity's lips again, tasting the breakfast she'd just had on her mouth. They leant into each other as the kiss deepened, somehow maintaining their balance whilst standing in the middle of the floor.

Neo recoiled ever so slightly, as he felt Trinity's fingers settle at his side. They felt hot, even through the fabric of the sweater he was wearing, as though her entire body was flushed with fire. As he pulled back, and gave a brief glance at Trinity, she was gazing back at him vacuously, moistening her swollen lips. Neo was about to lean in and kiss her again, as the sound of someone clearing his throat very loudly reached his ears.

"Are you two never gonna stop?" Tank's voice echoed from the end of the hallway. He was peeking around the corner, signaling for the two lovebirds to join him on the main deck already. "We *are* on a schedule here." He added, and then ran back the way he had come from.

"So much for the luck." Neo glanced at Trinity amused.

"But the kiss was still good." She replied, a shadow of a smile hanging about her features.

They smiled at each other, reveling in the little thrills that still ran through them. Most of the time, kissing was all they ever did, since you never knew when the sentinels decided to pay the Neb a surprise visit. Due to those circumstances, they had made quite an artform of making out where ever the passion over came them. A kiss in itself, left them surprisingly sated.

When Neo and Trinity finally made it to where Morpheus and Tank were waiting, everything seemed prepared for their arrival. Tank was sitting by a computer, punching in the preluminary commands to connect them to the Matrix. Morpheus, on the other hand, stood at a small distance, facing the entering pair.

"Neo? I take it you'll be going in with Trinity?" He asked casually.

"That was the deal, yeah." Neo nodded. "So Morpheus, wanna tell me what this is all about?"

The expression on Morpheus' face became troubled, yet he retained the sparkle of anticipation in his eyes. "Do you remember.. What I told you about the Prophecies of the One?" He asked, in a hypnotic steady flow of speach.

Neo nodded.

"Freeing the One would result in our victory.. over the machines. And I believe, that prophecy is close to it's fulfillment." Morpheus circled closer, and it seemed with every step he took a sence of nervousness seated deeper into his voice.

Neo just stared at him blankly. "Why? Who exactly are we going to meet?"

"It is as you would say, a long story, and time is against us. We were only given a 10 hour window to meet him, for security reasons, and we're quickly running out of time. Should you two fail to arrive.. All could be lost." Morpheus said grimly. "So as for now you'll just have to trust my judgement."

"I don't accept that." Neo shook his head. "Look, when I'm told I probably shouldn't do this, I get a bad feeling. I wan't to know what's going on."

"Trinity?" Morpheus glanced at the woman, guessing she was the one responsible for the heads up. "You know something the rest of us do not?"

"I just have a feeling." She quipped back. "I think it's a trap." 

"But what if it's not? Wouldn't the slightest chance of this being a genuine, honest request.. be worth risking everything?"

Trinity remained silent, and glanced at Neo. Not everything, she replied in her thoughts.

"Fine then," Morpheus turned his back, mistaking Trinity's silent reverie as a sign of agreement. "We will get you two as close to the meeting place as possible, but the little remaining distance you must cross as inconspicuously as possible." Morpheus explained to Neo. "Trinity shall fill you in on all the details on your way over."

"Alright." Neo frowned, "If that's how it's gonna be."

"Good. You're both ready then?" Morpheus asked.

"Yeah." Neo answered, having noticed Trinity's nod in his direction. "But sooner rather than later.. I'd like to know what the hell I'm supposed to do in all of this."

"And you will.. Perhaps sooner than you think." Morpheus grinned mysteriously, and turned to walk over to Tank to check on his progress. "We're ready to make the call, just give me the word." Tank told him, and the two men discussed some details of a map for some time. "These ducts here look rather old of origin, perhaps they could be used for travelling.." Morpheus' low voice blended into the general drone and buzz on the deck. It was a large, mostly vacant space with wires and cables running across the floor and walls. Most furnitures were bolted to place, to prevent them from moving should the ship jerk suddenly when floating through the sewer ducts. Also, most items there were functional rather than esthetic, with their gruesome, cold design.

While Morpheus and Tank continued their debate over route options, Neo followed Trinity's example and settled himself down on one of the seats on the main-deck. He couldn't help fidgeting, as he sought a more comfortable position.

"Neo?" Trinity tilted her head on her seat, her fingers squeezing the arm-rests. She'd felt the need to tell him to be careful, but now those words sounded so very childish and stupid in her ears. In the Matrix, Neo was the strong one. Of course he would be careful, and it wasn't like there was much out there that could hurt him anyway, Trinity rationalized in her mind. 

"Yeah?" Neo responded absent-mindedly, as Tank circled around his seat to plug him in. He couldn't help arching his back at the feel of a cold steel spike entering through the back of his head.

"..Nothing." Trinity breathed out. You coward, can't even express your concearn.

She waited patiently until Tank got to her, and plugged her in as well. After he trailed off, leaving her alone with her thoughts for a second or two, Trinity felt a disturbing sence of weight at the back of her head, which was caused by the heavy cable that lead down from the plug-in and winded across the floor. Usually she was too distracted to feel the shiver that ran through her around this time, right before being loaded into the Matrix. That was not the case now.

Trinity glanced at Neo from the corner of her eye, and caught a glimpse of him taking a deep calming breath before closing his eyes. Right then, in the blinking of an eye, she experienced a moment of hesitation, as her doubts and fear overweighed her usually rational mind. What if this isn't the right way to do this? She wondered. Should I lay out all my reasons for Neo to remain unplugged? Should I plead out to Morpheus, beg Neo to let me do this alone? For that moment, she doubted the decision she knew she'd already made. There was never more than the one choise. "Load us up, Tank." Trinity ordered, and braced herself for the ride.

* * *

I guess this was an OK chapter, even though I left all the juicy stuff for the next one. I wanted to write something emotional, slow-paced, before all hell breaks loose. 'Cos you know, that could very well happen in the next chapter. ^_^ BTW, I'm thinking about fitting the plot of this story to a timeframe of 24 hours. So I guess that makes this a 'day in the lives of' type of a story? Hopefully you won't mind? Just wanted to add a bit of an original twist to this fic. Well, please keep the reviews coming!


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